it's the end. *edited

with jodi heading home in 12 hours, coupled with the fact that jinli and cuiyi are heading to tokyo in 7 hours and coming back one day before i meet up with my parents, it's all sinking in now...that exchange is finally coming to a closure.

it feels so surreal, so weird that the next time i see jodi online, she would be sitting somewhere comfortable in her cozy SINGAPORE home talking to me...i still haven't come to terms with the fact that 4 and a half months flew by just like *blink* that. am i experiencing the so-called exchange withdrawal symptoms that people have been talking about?

looking back, i remember the initial apprehension, which turned to excitement the moment i got on to that flight, and later inability to adjust to the fact that i am away from home, then settling in, having fun, making new friends, exploring hong kong, then getting used to living in hong kong, and lastly actually living life with some routine.

it's also been a journey of self-discovery.

i wish to think i learnt independence, i grew up in some sense, but i know i still don't like being alone, IF i have a choice.

i realise i depend a lot on technology - talking to close friends on msn, calling / messaging people when i feel like saying something, sending letters and little gifts back home to family and friends (yah, airmail is also a form of technology. lol =P) hoping to make their day.

i realise i am not a funny person when people around me aren't the ones i've gotten so used to and perhaps, even taken for granted.

i realise i can be seen as childish when i do the things i always did with / to the people around me.

i also wish to think i've become more sensitive by trying to understand what the people around me are like, albeit learning in the hard way some times, and knowing what i can / cannot, should / should not do.

i also think i've learnt to respect what "alone time" and personal space are.

and the fact that everyone is different has been reinforced several times over the last few months.

*edit* i've also realised what it means by being responsible for your own actions. it's not just about answering to yourself, but also to the people who love you and you love back home. take a very simple case for example. sometimes when i jaywalk, like how hongkongers do it, i'd think...what if i'm unlucky just this one time and something happens?? i actually think about the consequences, imagine the painful situation if....yea, i nv looked at it this way when i was back home. =)

i'm sure there are some more things i've gained, perhaps subconsciously, from this exchange experience, just that i'm not able to properly express them. doesn't matter. so long as i know i haven't wasted my 4 and a half months here.

regarding my other 3 exchange companions, well of course there are ups and downs, but i guess at the end of the day, no one remembers the unhappy moments, and there are definitely more ups than downs anyway. i think i wouldn't want to change this combination for anything. if anything's gonna go, then it's gotta be me. heh.

i think i will miss our mindless chats that extended way past dinner time (usually to escape from work), about eye candies ^_^, exchange students in business class (jodi and cuiyi feed us with regular updates =X) almost all of whom have an erm-not-so-nice nickname, what our mums / dads are "capable" of doing, how there is no eligible guy in hk, and even the canteen managers. LOL =P there's nv a moment of boredom, every other minute we would be laughing over something. okay, maybe except when they were all exhausted after a long day out / it's a long journey to somewhere, then i would have to entertain myself. hahaha. and then there's our regular dessert sessions at kam mun tong, our late night karaokes, the occasional eating-good-food sessions, one-day "excursions"..................

of course, it's impossible for me to recount every single thing we've done together here in hong kong. whatever it is, i'm grateful to have had their company these 4 and a half months, and i think our way of communicating will continue even when we all get home - like speaking to one another in cantonese (in a "fooling around" way), and calling one another's names in a "hong kong manner" (you'll know what i'm talking about when school starts). hahaha =P

to CJsquare (cant put superscript la! =P), it's been fun with you guys, and sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. =) take care peeps, and i'll see you guys back in CS!

by the way, happy birthday to our dearest jodi!
unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. i hate to think about the fact that i will be thrown back into reality just 2 days after getting home. work's starting on the 6th. arghhh. why does time have to pass so quickly?!